Crazy For Her…

Madi is feverish and I am too but not the same sort.  She has a real fever and I have the kind where you dream of being outside in the sunshine that decided to show itself for the first time in I don’t know when.  So we are staying inside on a nice day so that she can break her fever.  I ran to the  movie store and grabbed 6 movies, Ryen ran to Subway to get a quick dinner for all of us and we will stay inside and hope that tomorrow the fever is gone.  The weekend is supposed to be really nice and I had ideas of frolicking in the sunshine, camera in hand.  I don’t think it is happening and that is ok.  That is what we do as parents, right?  We say its okay because they are more important and there is nothing worse than watching your child hurt.

But one thing we have to do tomorrow (unless she is running a fever) is get glasses.  Both of us – Me and Madi.  I know I need glasses and I haven’t even had my eyes checked yet.  I am getting old indeed.  My eyesight is causing horrible headaches that make me pray for permanent darkness to make the pain go away.  I am hoping the glasses help.  Ryen is REALLY hoping the glasses help.  I know he is just as sick of them as I am.  He is patient but he hates seeing me in pain and I hate ruining everyone’s day/night/weekend.  Madi needs glasses to read.  I knew this last year when I had her eyes checked but the Optometrist suggested I wait another year before spending the money on lenses because he knew her eyesight would change (get worse?) and he didn’t want me to spend the money and have to return in 6 months for new lenses.  So we are getting glasses.  The three of us will be wearing glasses.  A family of four eyes!  Yippppeee! 

And because Madi’s fever required lots of attention, I am sort of spent.  So I am ending this post with a simple YIPPPEEE~!  SUBWAY SANDWICHES are here!  I am hungry, so let’s eat.  Sorry, I didn’t get enough for the internet but YUM – It smells so good.  It’s the little things people!  I hope your weekend is filled with sunshine and regular bodily temperatures.

The years that I attended college I was unaware of any social networking sites outside the normal dating sites.  Sites like MySpace, Facebook and Twitter were unknown to me.  For this I am thankful as I think of all the time I waste these days updating sites that all my “friends” are members of.  I would have likely flunked out of school while spending countless hours updating my status instead of doing homework.  It has been 12 years since that first day of college and I felt that getting my degree was the last step towards adulthood.

It’s ironic now that I think about it.  Being a part of social networking in 2009 reminds me of how far we have yet to go.  There are more instances of immaturity, cliques and just plain high school bullshit that exists now than ever before.  As hard as I try to stay away from it, I too am guilty of getting involved in said BS.  The last few weeks are a prime example of such activity.  And while I am not the subject, I have definately been a participant in the discussion.  Often times finding myself trying to debate with people who clearly do not have an IQ level that enables them to be a constructive participant.  But participate they do and there is nothing stopping them.  What am I speaking of, you may ask?  For those of you who are aware of the drama, all I have to say is Dooce and you will say “Ah.  Yes, of course.  That.”

For those of you who don’t know Dooce or her opponents on the web, let me fill you in.  Not everyone likes Dooce, no big surprise there.  She is successful, which puts her in the spotlight and she often writes for the sheer purpose to strike a nerve.  Or so it seems to me.  I have my opionion as do a million others.  You don’t have to agree with what people write but some don’t let it end there.  They feel so much hatred for her that they create sites dedicated to hating her.  Am I the only one that finds this crazy or NUTTY as someone accused me of being?  That’s right.  I was told that I was nutty just because I disagreed with a person’s point of view.  There are a few sites that I will mention, feel free to visit but beware on commenting.  They will more than likely hate you instantly if you disagree or mention that you read Dooce.

There is one site, Renegade Moms, who have a page dedicated to Heather Armstrong.  As if that is not enough, they mention her in nearly every post no matter what the topic may be.  The deny this of course, stating that only a small percent of their posts mention her.  I have been to the site, I include the comments as being part of the post and I have found only 2 or 3 that don’t mention her name in the comments and that is because the post was actually a decent one with only one or two comments.  Go figure.

Another site to mention is PoopOnPeeps.  Nice name, eh?  To save you from the pain of visiting I will give you the run down.  This site mentions Heather Armstrong, her husband Jon and their children in nearly every post.  If they are not mentioned in the post, they will definitely be mentioned time, after time, after time in every other comment on said post.  Although sometimes she runs out of unique (mean) things to say about Dooce and chooses another in her list of  “Blogs that I hate and the people that own them” or is it “The people I hate and the blogs that they own”.  A few on the list are Pioneer Woman, Lucky 13 and Counting, Mighty Girl, Suburban Bliss and the list goes on**.  You can add to that list, all the people that support the people that she hates.  What does this sound like to you?

To me it is pure and simple elementary school bullies at their worst.  Let me quote a few of the comments made on these sites to give you an idea of the issue at hand (by other people who evidently share the same level of hate and also replies made by blog owner*):

Example comments from Renegade Moms and Poop on Peeps (I will keep them random so no one will no for sure which site the comment was posted unless they are mentioned in the comment itself.  Also, I don’t want to put that much effort into spreading more of the hate.  That is not the point of this post, so just hang in there with me for a moment or two.)

Example comment #1:

I just always felt alone in my dislike of Douche before I found this blog. You see so much ass kissing from her rabid fans and other bloggers all wanting a piece of the crazy train glory. And you’re thinking to yourself “Damn she’s nuts and no one sees this?” But I guess a lot people will read anything if they think it’s “in” and if maybe they can get a link on the great and powerful Douche’s blog. Idiots. After finding this site, I was just thankful there’s free thinking people that aren’t Douche drones out there! And it’s fun as hell to snark on the loon! LOL! Ohhh,I must be jealous..LMAO! She’s so fantastically awesome everyone wants to be her!! Blech.

Funny how her fans say they come here once, leave a comment like “HOW DARE YOU JEALOUS PEOPLE ACT LIKE THIS- I AM NEVER COMING BACK!” And you KNOW they’re here everyday! LOL!!

Example #2

Heather Armstrong is a FUGLY individual – both inside and out. My Lord, have you seen her new lesbian haircut? And she has the ego to try and say she looks like Michelle Williams? HAHA! Hysterical. She looks like an albino transvestite with a Dutch-boy haircut.

What is sad is that Heather used to actually have some writing skill. I think, in a lot of ways, she still possesses that skill. The problem is that she has Kate Gosselin syndrome and thinks that the world owes something to her and that she is some sort of celebrity. The truth is – no one really gives a shit – and the ones who do just want to kiss the Great Douche’s ass and get their blog address printed on her site.

I would love to see Douche pooping her panties now that blog owners are required by law to state that they are being paid for promoting products on their site. I don’t believe for one second that half the shit that Douchebag puts on her site is because she just loves it. She is paid for every little morsel of bullshit she puts on that site.

I love your site, Chickenliver, and I love Douche’s monetizing the hate section. Sure, I am giving her a page view – sure, that is loading her already full pockets. But I just love to read all the other like-minded individuals who think she is a total tool.

Example #3

I just don’t understand why Heather acts like she is the only person in the world to ever have had a child. Instead of doing a google search to see if a product exists to keep little legs out of crib slats, she feels the need to snowball into melodrama.

I don’t know what’s sadder, Heather’s exasperation over a common parenting issue, or the fact that her commenters lap it up.

I guess in Dooce land it’s easier to wish a developmental disorder on a healthy child than to actually do 5 minutes of research.

Oh, and Dooce: No pasting this comment to your site.

Example #4

What strikes me as interesting in this whole Monetizing the Hate/Love thing is that the comments/emails published on Monetizing the Hate make me laugh and sound insane and pathetic, but when Iread the stuff on here, I don’t laugh, or think that the people writing it are angry, judgemental assholes…I can’t help but agree with them in their defense of Heather and they condemnation of you “Renegade Moms.”
This is so low, so junior high, so sad. Why don’t you understand how small this makes you look? Do you not have a little voice in the back of your head saying “well, this is a *little* cruel, maybe…”??? I couldn’t live with myself, or sleep through the night, if I knew I had made a website or posted something publicly that tore apart someone else. Tell me, how do you do it?

Example #5

Left Coast Cowboys website – I just happened upon this site tonight while doing a little research for this post.  I want to make sure I have all my information correct because I am certain I will be blasted if anyone from either side of the camp happens upon my site.  The site listed above has at least one entire post dedicated to disliking Dooce.  From what I could gater it is solely because of a bathroom remodel.  WTH?  Seriously?  Yes.

You are probably asking yourself, what is all this about?  Well it started with this post from dooce.  Here is an excerpt:

“And I’m sitting there feeding Marlo, my abdomen wrapped in a bandage SO THAT I DON’T GIVE HER CHICKEN POX, and I’m reading an anonymous comment calling me an asshead, and suddenly I remember that conversation I had with Heather. And I’m like, you know what? I’m going to let that anonymous comment help pay for the therapy that Leta is so desperately going to need once she finds out what awful things I’ve said about her on my website.

Internet, let me introduce you to Monetizing The Hate.

Here I will be posting all the hate mail I get in my inbox and all the hateful anonymous and not-so-anonymous comments left on this website. And let me tell you, it is a hoot! And the money? OH THE MONEY! I am going to roll around naked in all that money! Because that’s what assheads do!”

The first time I read the monetizing the hate site I was amused.  My amusement soon turned to shock and dismay.  Then it became plain depressing when I followed the links from google to some of the sites that contain the above comments.  Those sites are disturbing to say the least.  They are also a good lesson in social class.  They are full of sterotypes, uneducated people, educated but unhappy people, schoolyard bullies and as much as they deny it, jealous people.  So what can be done about Internet bullies?  Is Heathers hate site the answer?***  This discussion will be continued, so until next time…if you can’t say anything nice, say nothing at all.

*If you see any errors in my copied and pasted content, please email me @ nooneisperfect@neitherareyou.com

**I will edit as I see the list change.  I think it will change often as they run out of nasty things to say about these sites.

***At the time of this writing the Dooce hate site is currently unavailable.  There is a possibility that she took the site down.  Lawsuits?

So it’s now 5 am and I am still awake.  I think it is nervous energy that is screwing with my sleep pattern lately.  That and all the reading I have to do for my new job.  My current job is much different than what I used to do at the Hell-Plans, so two years later and I am a little rusty on a few things.

So I am going back to my roots so to say.  I am hoping that this time it is different.  I love the job that I will be doing but nervous about the stress that I may bring upon myself.  My hope is that my manager is professional.  Period.  That is my biggest worry, going to this new job and ending up with another crazy manager like I had two years ago.

So I have spent the entire night, into the morning trying to get myself prepared for October 1st.  I am surprised by how much I remember and I feel confident that I will be able to do my job.  Hell, I might even impress them with my knowledge.

I am going to focus on NOT stressing and try to focus on what Madi has been telling me for the last month – “Momma, I am so glad that you got the job.  I am so proud of you”.  My 6 year old is proud of me.  How awesome is that?

I swear that I am not taking any more photos until I work with what I have on the camera.  Download them, delete the ones that just didn’t work out, post the great shots and then back them up.  Then I pick up the camera and take more pictures.  Like four hundred more pictures and I am not exaggerating this time.  Just an example of a few that I want to post:

• Madi and Jersey asleep on my bed.
• My first time water skiing
• Dwayne playing gospel music on the 4th of July.
• Marty and the giant caterpillar who ate my ornamental pepper plant.
• Madi and I sliding at Jump Mania.
• Madi and Destini sliding into the swimming pool in the backyard.
• Madi and Jordan playing a silly game before church.
• A beautiful catholic church in Defiance.
• Angie sitting in the restaurant with squirrels hanging over her head.
• Susan N. dancing her heart out on an empty dance floor in St. Louis.
• A series of Madi doing the hand motions to two of her favorite songs.

The last one is something I have wanted to do for quite some time.  One of my favorite pictures of Madi is a series that Taisia took when Madi was two.  She had a hat pulled down over her eyes and I think Taisia was singing a song while Madi danced.  She snapped a series of shots and I adore them.  More than any video, those pictures capture who Madi was at that point in time.  I look at those pictures and I remember, really remember what she was like.  Video is something I have never committed to.  I have a few videos of Madi but nothing that really stands out in my mind.  But the pictures that I have are priceless to me.

I look at the list above and I am glad I have no video.  Each item on the list is a memory that I want to keep fresh in my mind.  I don’t need a video to watch to remind me of these things, not yet anyway.  I am glad that I started writing again.  I feel like the last year is a giant fog and I am finally breaking through it.  Not all was bad but it was a rough year and I am healing.  This website makes that a little easier for me and the pictures remind me that good things have happened in the last year.  Although it seemed like it was the hardest year, there are permanent reminders that some great times were had, friends were made and things are going to be alright.

I recently purchased the latest Dixie Chicks CD.  I am not a huge fan of country but I have never considered them to be country.  I love the sound and relate to some of the lyrics.  I am listening to the CD now and it just reinforces my disappointment in some people.  It is hard for me to understand how you can take someone’s words so personal when they were not directed at you and they were not said to you.  She made a statement in another country, a statement that she believed in at the time.  Something she was passionate about and suddenly freedom of speech is only acceptable if everyone agrees with you?  What happened to that freedom and why are so many people angry?  I don’t necessarily agree with what she said but I feel she had a right to say it.  Just because she is a public figure does not mean she can no longer voice her opinion.  Not ready to make nice is exactly how I would feel if I were treated the way they have been treated.  They are talented artists and should not be treated as traders because they oppose the war and the decisions of our president.  If the statement had been made in the U.S. I am guessing that there wouldn’t have been such an uproar.  She made the statement in France – OH MY GOD let’s burn her at the stake!  Last I heard this was a free country and no matter where you are you should be able to practice the same freedoms as you would at home.

Go buy their latest CD because the way I see it, no matter what you think of the Dixie Chicks,  they were treated unfairly and should be repaid for the injustice that some U.S. citizens have handed down to them.  Then maybe they will be ready to make nice.

Forgive, sounds good.  Forget, I’m not sure I could.  They say time heals everything – But I’m still waiting – I’m through with doubt – There’s nothing left for me to figure out – I’ve paid the price – And I’ll keep paying – I’m not ready to make nice – I’m not ready to back down – I’m still mad as hell and – I don’t have time to go round and round and round – It’s too late to make it right – I probably wouldn’t if I could – ‘Cause I’m mad as hell – Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should – I know you said – Can’t you just get over it – It turned my whole world around – And I kind of like it – I made my bed and I sleep like a baby  – With no regrets and I don’t mind saying – It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her – daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger – And how in the world can the words that I said – Send somebody so over the edge – That they’d write me a letter – Saying that I better shut up and sing – or my life will be over – I’m not ready to make nice- I’m not ready to back down – I’m still mad as hell and – I don’t have time to go round and round and round – It’s too late to make it right – I probably wouldn’t if I could – ‘Cause I’m mad as hell – Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should – Forgive sounds good – Forget, I’m not sure I could – They say time heals everything- But I’m still waiting