Crazy For Her…

I have or should I say HAD a black pair of dress shoes. They were my favorite pair of shoes and I wore them to work almost everyday because my wardrobe is VERY black. I bought these shoes a week before I started my current job and I paid $10 for them. That was six years ago and these shoes were looking 25 years old. I wore them through my entire pregnancy, for big presentations, interviews, casual days, the shoes have been good to me. They were comfortable and they went with all of my black dress pants. They are pleather shoes with cracks and you can no longer read the brand name on the sole of the shoes. I knew it was time to let them go but I couldn’t do it alone.

I have a friend/co-worker who had to intervene. She is the kind of friend who will tell you when you have a booger hanging out of your nose, she will tell me when an outfit doesn’t look right and that is the best kind of friend to have at work. It happened on Wednesday, she told me the shoes HAD to go. Actually, the first time she told me was weeks ago and I laughed it off and said the shoes were staying. But this week she meant business. She bought me a new pair of black shoes and forced me to throw away the old pair. So the shoes are gone and my friend is happy but my feet are hurting. I would wear my old trusty pair of black shoes instead of the new but the crazy woman threw them in the dumpster! Not in the trash bin in the office but the actual dumpster outside the building. I would have to crawl inside the dumpster to retrieve them and I would have to do it after hours because she threatened my life if I so much as looked in the general direction of the dumpster. So thank you crazy friend, my feet are killing me and I am sooooo not going to tell you the next time you have spinach between your teeth.

Over the weekend I noticed Maddie saying some new things. She is actually mimicking us, using phrases that we use daily and putting some serious facial expressions in there as well. This is very cute which causes me to ask her to repeat these phrases over and over until she finally catches on and walks away. I forsee this happening more often in her teenage years. Of course I am referring to the part where she walks away and this will more than likely involve some foot stomping followed by door slamming. I expect this because I deserve horrible teenage years from Maddie after all the hell I put my Mother through.

But I digress…

Over the weekend she was combing my hair. She began this process very gently and soon turned into my Mother, minus the smack on the back of the head when I moved an inch. It started to hurt a little so I said ouch and this exchange took place.

Me: Ouch! That hurts.
Maddie: No Momma, not hurt.
Me: Well, yes, it does kinda hurt.
Maddie: NO MOMMA, NOOOOTTTT hurt.
Me: Ok, Maddie just be gentle.
Maddie: Me be nice Momma, not hurt.

Aunt Pilly was in the room and mentioned that Maddie has probably heard that from me when I was combing her hair. She’s right! Maddie has a very tender head and I contstantly chase her with the brush, hold her down, tell her to “Suck it up Maddie! Your hairs a mess and I have to brush it. It doesn’t hurt! Stop! I have to brush your hair!”

So basically she is a gentler version of her Mother. Maybe the teenage years won’t be too bad.

A few nights ago I was in the office paying our bills. Maddie does not tolerate her mother sitting in one place for longer than 2.5 seconds. She was grabbing pens, paper, matches and sharp objects from the desk. Just kidding about the matches, I only let her play with the sharp objects.

She wanted to help me address the envelopes, we have the nifty address labels so I let her help. She left the room and I had 15 minutes of peace and quiet so that I could finish balancing the checkbook (Note: Big lie, I haven’t balanced my checkbook in 7 years). I was really surfing the internet for 15 minutes.

I left the office and found Maddie in the dining room with the address labels and she had managed to label every object that she could reach. She labeled the globe, the candle holders and I am still finding random objects nicely marked with our name and address.

Today at work someone noticed that I had something stuck to the bottom of my shoe. Without looking, I responded “Address label, you know, in case I lose my shoes.” Most of my co-workers think I am crazy and it is the only form of entertainment in my very long, boring day.

Tonight I found the remote was labeled and I thought that wasn’t such a bad idea. I haven’t removed any of the labels and it makes me smile when I see them. Because the next time we have company I want them to wonder why we have so many things marked with our name and address. Are we afraid that someone might steal our cheap candle holders?

No, we have a two year old who was occupied and content for 15 minutes. Don’t even think about taking that away from us.