Crazy For Her…

or is it because of her? Don't worry. We are the fun kind of crazy!

August 30th, 2009

Unconditional Love

Twenty-one months ago I did something that I needed to do months, possibly years before.  I landed an awesome job, one that led me to meet incredible people and work for the best boss I have ever known.  This was a job full of possibilities and days full of fun.  Yes, I said it, FUN.  This job was fun and it was everything I wanted and I was never going to leave, the end.

Life has a way of throwing you lessons out of left field, most of the lessons I have no desire to learn.  So “Hello life!  Stop with the lessons already”.  How about throwing me a cooking class, tap dance lessons or even singing lessons.  Not these spur of the moment, hey your entire life is now up in the air kind of lessons.  My heart can’t take many more of those.

A few months ago I learned that things you love can be taken away for no reason what so ever.  So the job I love was ending, I knew it was coming and it shook my foundation.  This is not a good time to lose a job, if there ever was a good time, this is definately NOT one of them.  They gave us verbal notice in the middle of June, in the middle of my awesome Summer.  In turn, my Summer turned a little on the dark side.  There is no way around it, I was depressed.  But something happened to me during June.  I let myself mourn until the first of July and then I sprang into action and sent out my resume on a mass scale.  I have never applied for so many jobs in my life.  Then I waited.  And the phone didn’t ring.  My inbox was still full of the same old crap; facebook updates, emailed jokes that I don’t read half the time but on the job front there was silence.  Until one day I received a call from an employer that is listed in Forbes as one of the top places to work in the U.S.

GULP!  I had an interview, only told my loved ones, the ones I trust because I knew they would give me the positive energy I needed to get through what ever it was I was going to have to endure.  And boy did I endure some shit.  There was this unbeilievably long and down right scary interview.  The interview that I NAILED!  I walked out of that 25 story building knowing that I gave one hell of an interview, easily the best interview of my entire career.  (Can I call this a career?  I guess 10 years in the field gives me that right?)  So I walked to my car and I said a prayer.  The same prayer I have been saying every day since.  That and a lot of waiting.  No phone calls came, email was the same shit and I was starting to wonder what if?  And those what if’s were getting pretty scary.

I did research on unemployment benefits which only made my world more gray.  Have you ever checked to see what you qualify for on a weekly basis if you lost your job today?  Don’t do it, it will only make you question why you have paid so much into the system to then be handed a check that would pay your monthly grocery bill if you are one of the lucky ones.  Then there was a really dark day that made me look into getting government assistance – food stamps.  My unemployment benefits would have disqualified me for most, if not all assistance available.  WOW.  Wow.  The days were now getting really dark for me.

I once lived in darkness for too many years and knew I didn’t want to go back to that place.  The cool part about this story is that I didn’t have to go back.  This time there were people walking beside me the whole time with a bright light shining right in my face, demanding that I stay focused.  At times it was Madi, telling me that she was saying a little prayer “Momma I hope you get that job.”, and always there was Ryen.  He never let me stay in that dark place very long.  He was there for me, he listened to me, he gave me a reason to hope and to believe that things were going to be ok.  This is something that I still find amazing.  Amazing that I am in love with a man who can pull me out of that place we all go to sometimes.  Some people go to that dark place and never come back, some stay for a while and make every one around them miserable, some people are fortunate enough to stay for only a day or two at a time so as to never be consumed by it.  Without Ryen I think I might still be there, without Madi I would never have had the courage to endure that grueling interview.  I had to do it for her.  I needed that job, any job, because I knew that darkness was getting close.  October 3rd was closing in and there were still no calls, no emails and I was wondering if AT&T had started blocking all calls from potential employers.

A couple of weeks ago Ryen picked Madi up from school and as they were walking into my office my private line rang.  It is almost always my boss calling from next door to talk about changes to the reports I run or calling to ask me if I can cover something while she is out.  But not on this day.  On this day I got a job.  I will be starting in October, I won’t miss a paycheck and the two people who helped me stay in the light were there to witness the call.  It couldn’t have been a better moment.  I want to say that I am lucky, that I am just plain lucky to have found a great job in a time when there are so very few jobs at all.  I will not use the word luck.  I earned this.  I nailed that interview with my experience and my honesty about what I am capable of doing in my line of work.  THAT is what landed me this great job.  The lucky part is having two very awesome people to share the news with.  Without them I would be different, a bad kind of different and for that reason I am the luckiest woman alive.  They love me, I love them and they both shine so bright in my life that the dark moments are impossible to see anymore.  I am aware that they are there but they are not really a part of me.  Just life moments that I know will pass by.  Such a huge difference in situations when comparing the last 8 years.

I am still mourning the loss of my wonderful job, my so very awesome boss and all the people that make work so much fun.  And yet I am so grateful for things yet to come.  The excitement is intoxicating at times, still pinching myself and staying very close to the brightest lights in my life.  So to Ryen and Madi – Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you! For believing in me and letting me know it each and every day.  Thank you for reminding me how awesome you think I am, for telling me I am a good Mom, for telling me I am smart and for just being here with me.  I love you both unconditionally.  Knowing that you both feel the same makes everything okay.  We are going to be okay.  So the life lesson for me turned around – it’s okay to love unconditionally and it feels good to say it, to know it.  That NO MATTER what happens or where you are in life, you are loved.  No matter what you say on a bad day, or what you don’t say when you really should have said SOMETHING, to know that you are still loved?  The best feeling in the world.  This is the first time in my life that I have truly felt it, my heart misguided me in the past.  Made me think there was that kind of love in my life.  Turns out it was only a temporary kind of love, one with conditions and expectations.  Not this.  No, this love is what keeps people together, keeps them close – UNCONDITIONALLY.

August 10th, 2009

Cha-Ching…YIKES!

October 3rd is getting closer and I am no closer to getting a new job.  I have applied for all that are out there and so have 1000 other unemployed IT professionals.  I am still staying hopeful although I admit it is getting harder.  August is full of activities, all of which require that money be spent.  School is starting soon and oh my goodness!  I didn’t realize how many school supplies would be needed and how much it was going to cost me.  This weekend I bought school uniforms for a whopping $240!  YIKES!  I hope Madi grows at a slow but healthy rate this year.

The most important event, next to starting kindergarten, is Madi’s birthday.  We have decided to have the party at the park.  We had her first two birthdays at this park so she was all for it.  I want Madi to have a wonderful birthday.  She will 6 years old – WOW!  Chris and I talked about having the party and agreed that it would be silly to have separate parties.  I hope that everyone is able to come.  The decision to have the party at the park was in hopes that everyone would feel more comfortable attending.  I hope it works out for Madi’s sake.

In other news…we found a new home for Chloe.  Ryen and I realized that she was not happy in the back yard.  Although there is plenty of room for her to run, there is just not enough for her to do.  She is bored, she told us she wanted a farm and Ryen found her one.  We didn’t want to let her go but it is what she needed.  We received a call from the nice ladies that adopted her.  They said they turned her loose on their 6 acres, she headed for the pond, jumped in and swam with their ducks.  This made us happy and we feel we did what was best for her.  Madi is handling it ok.  She wants another dog and I decided that the answer was no.  Two is enough.  More than enough.

So back to the October discussion – I am not sure what I am going to do.  I do know that I will have a roof over my head, food to eat and a car to drive.  A job?  Things aren’t looking to good in that area and the severance pay certainly won’t last forever.  Unemployment is not something that was meant to live on so that is not a long term option.  I guess my hope at this point is that sometime between now and November the job market will pick up and I will land the job that I am supposed to have.  Until then I will keep submitting resumes and waiting for the phone to ring.  Oh and praying, I have been doing a lot of that lately.

August 4th, 2009

Plugged In

Madi just returned home from her Aunt and Uncles’ house.  She spent a week visiting her two adorable cousins; kira and Maya.  I think the week went pretty well from what I have heard but there is still a lot of fighting between them.  I like to believe that it is their age.  Only separated by 6 months, there is going to be some arguing.  She had a lot of stories to tell me about dressing up, going swimming, visiting the zoo and riding bikes.  Chris went to get her on Friday and they ended the week with a float trip.  Madi loved it but I think she was ready to come home to Mom.  It makes me happy that she is able to spend time away from her parents, miss us but still allow herself to have a good time.  I was worried about that the most.  Oh and also the fighting.  I didn’t want Taisia to lose her mind with the addition of my child in her household and hopefully she didn’t.  Taisia?  Are you still alive?

She arrived in town late Saturday night and I got the early phone call on Sunday at 8:00 am.  “Momma, are you awake?  I am ready to come home.”  So I rolled out of bed and met my ball of energy on the front porch.  She was talking a mile a minute about 50 different things that she did in the past week.  When her Dad left she crawled in my lap on the front porch and gave me the biggest hug she has ever given me.  Having her back is good and I feel like I always do when she has been gone a few days; she has grown a lot.  She says new things and has new stories to tell. I love having her home because it never feels right without her.

I thought a lot (probably too much) about the possibility that I may not have a new job in October.  I thought about this while she was gone because when she is home I barely have the time to think.  I may not be getting a job right away and I think that is going to be ok.  I will manage and I will have more time for Madi.  Something that I have wanted for a long time.  I have missed out on a lot of things and let others do them for me.  Like picking Madi up every day from school and being there to hear about her day.  I want that and I know Madi wants that.

I have also been thinking a lot about music and how Madi used to listen to it every night, all night when she was a baby.  And she rested.  Lately she hasn’t been sleeping all that great.  I can tell she is tired when she gets up and this will only get worse when school starts.  So this weekend I bought something she has been asking for.  An early birthday present.  I bought her an iPod of her own so that she can listen to music while she is going to sleep instead of watching a movie.  Last night was the first night and boy could I tell a difference.  Maybe it was being home and comfy or maybe it was the iPod.  All I know is I woke up to find her in my bed, bright eyed, ear phones on and dancing around the bed to her favorite music.  This made me smile and right now I am smiling as I type this.

I hope that this makes her feel safe when she is drifting off to sleep.  I also hope this puts a lot of dust on the TV because she stops asking to watch it.  I would much rather hear music blaring from her room instead of some Disney movie with very little meaning.  She told me last night that she has been writing songs and I can’t wait until she learns to write.  Because the songs she has in her head are beautiful and funny, just like her.  So now I feel like I am more plugged in as a parent and Madi feels more plugged into music.  That’s not a bad thing, right?

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