Crazy For Her…

Tonight we were heading out the door to go to dinner when the phone rang.  It was a call from some friends who wanted us to meet them at the drag strip in Rogersville which is 30 minutes from our house.  It was getting late, we hadn’t had dinner and I wasn’t sure that Maddie would like it.  It is extremely loud, dusty and it is not cheap.  I could tell by the look on Chris’ face and the tone of his voice that he really, really, really wanted to go.  And I am glad that we did! 

My main concern about going was the noise and the possible damage it could inflict on Maddie’s tiny eardrums.  We stopped by Chris’ shop on the way out of town and picked up some ear muffs so I wouldn’t have to worry about Maddie’s ears ringing for the rest of her life. 

We met our friends at the track and it was already getting dark.  They begin the races with the street class (I am sure there is another term for this but I am not an expert in this area) and Maddie looked a little bored.  I can’t blame her, who wants to watch a Ford Escort go up against a Toyota Corolla?  But then the hot rods lined up and the sheer sound of it will rattle your teeth.  When they take off at the starting line you can feel the rumble in your chest.  I have always enjoyed the drag strip and I am constantly amazed at the rate of speed that these cars travel.  I would love to try it one time – 130 miles an hour on the strip must to be quite a rush.

We didn’t leave until 11:00 pm but Maddie behaved wonderfully.  We are lucky to have a child who can acclimate so easily to just about any enviroment.  We can take her to a theater to see a play and she will sit quietly through the entire production.  That is probably why we take her so many places.  She makes it easy for us and it wouldn’t be as much fun without her there.  One of the greatest things about being a parent is watching your child experience things for the first time. 

Does she like the races?  Check out the pictures and decide for yourself.

 

Starting Line with Dad

 

Giving Dad Bunny Ears

 

Me and Maddie

 

My Dream Car – Chevy Deuce

 

Maddie’s Favorite Car – The Yellow Bug

Maddie is proving to be a very creative child.  She made up a little ditty that she hums on the way to school in the morning.  Num-a-Numma-Numma…Numma-Numma-Num!  She sings it and she be-bops her head from side to side.  When I join in she giggles and smiles.  She has also combined Twinkle-Twinkle Little Star and Itsy Bitsy Spider into her own little medley and it sounds like they belong together.  And a few weeks ago Chris asked us what we wanted for dinner and she blurted out “Hock-a-doe-doe!”.  We both thought this was rather funny and we headed out the door in search of Hock-a-doe-doe.  We ended up at the Chinese restaraunt because where else would you find such a dish?

Since that night we have used that word in a million different ways.  It is her word and she is very proud to hear other people say it.  She loves the word and has now created a little game.  The game is very simple:  You say the word – “Hock-a-doe-doe” followed by whatever you see in the room.  Example:  Hock-a-doe-doe Book.  Hock-a-doe-doe Daddy.  Hock-a-doe-doe TV.  Hock-a-doe-doe Chair.

This is a game we play at least once a day and I have to admit it is fun.  So next time you see Maddie, say the word and be prepared to play the game for hours of fun.  It is sure to be the next cool thing so tell all your friends.  Hock-a-doe-doe Bye.

As I was sitting on the porch tonight, enjoying a rare moment of peace and quiet, it was suddenly disturbed by the screaming of Maddie’s little friend.  They were sitting on the steps playing grocery store when Maddie decided that she wasn’t going to get the cart from Destiiny by simply asking her for it.  Instead she decided that if she couldn’t have the cart she would bite her hand off.  In her mind it must have seemed like a good trade until I intervened.  I didn’t realize what happened until Destiny showed me the fresh outline of Maddie’s set of teeth right there on her tiny wrist.  I was shocked.  I have seen Maddie push, kick and occasionally strike out at other children but she has never harmed anyone.  I do not condone fighting but she never hits or kicks with enough force to do any damage so I have never been too concerned.  But those teeth, my gosh those teeth are sharp. 

Chris and I agreed over a year ago that we would be spanking Maddie when we thought she needed it.  We are not parents who spank for every little mistake or outburst of toddler fury.  But we let her know that it is an option and we use it as more of a threat than actual punishment.  It works most of the time.  She knows that we will spank her so usually a warning that a spanking is a possiblity is enough to straighten her out.

After I took care of Destiny and made sure her Mother was aware of the incident I returned home to make sure Maddie understood the ramifications of what transpired outside.  She knew instantly that she was in trouble.  But for the first time I think Maddie truly understood that she was being punished for something she did wrong and even understood that she deserved the punishment.  As I am typing this it sounds so harsh to be talking about it.  The truth is I always question whether Maddie realizes what she is being reprimanded for.  She usually cries and then a few minutes later acts as though nothing happened.  Sometimes she tells us that we are mean as if we should feel guilty for even thinking of telling her no. 

Tonight I explained to her exactly why she was being spanked before I did the spanking and she actually nodded her head.  It was a little sad but as strange as it sounds I was proud of her in that moment for excepting that what she did was wrong.  Afterwards I made her sit in her room by herself and even the sound of her crying was different.  I can’t explain how but it was real and I think she knew that I was disappointed that she hurt another person.  I came back to the room and asked her if she understood why she was in trouble and she said “I hurt Destiny and she cried.” 

I do not think that I could have punished her any other way in this situation.  There are plenty of people out there who will debate the issue of spanking vs. non-spanking.  I am not here to choose for anyone else nor do I think that spanking is the only option.  But tonight I know it was appropriate, it worked and I do not believe that she will be scarred because of it.  I think that parents are sometimes afraid to admit that they spank their children, afraid of what people will think.  I wish I never had to spank Maddie but the fact of the matter is it works for us and is working for Maddie.  She is learning right from wrong and that is part of my job as a parent.  That and making sure that her dental imprints do not show up on every child she plays with.

I am constantly amazed by Maddie’s thought process.  Her mind must go a mile a minute, all day long.  She never stops talking and asking questions.  My god the questions!  She is never satisfied with the first answer given.  She demands further explantion on every topic and the answer usually leads to ten more questions.  I understand that this is the way children learn.  They ask questions and we as parents are supposed to know the answer to everything.  No matter how tired I am, stressed I am or just plain busy, I try to answer all her questions.

Maddie is most curious when we are riding in the car.  This must be because she is strapped in the car seat, looking at the big wide world and her mind starts reeling.  She questions everything she sees.  She now knows that red means stop and green means go and she is not afraid to tell me when I am doing the wrong thing.  She will scream for me to go because GREEN MEANS GO!

This morning she was quiet until we stopped at an intersection and she saw a dog.  She let me know that there was a dog on the sidewalk and then she asked “Why are dogs naked?”  At first I didn’t understand what she was asking me and then she said “That dog does not have a shirt on.  Why doesn’t he have panties on?  He is cold Mom.  He needs pants.”  I wish that I could get inside her head for one day.  All the things she sees for the first time and all the things she questions.  Where does she come up with this stuff? 

I spent the next ten minutes explaining that dogs have fur and that it keeps them warm.  This led to the question “Why don’t I have fur?”  In which I replied “Because God made dogs with fur and he didn’t give you fur because you wear clothes.”  And then she asked “Where is God?” and I explained that he was in heaven.  She then wanted to know if God wears clothes and honestly I have no idea.  I hope he does but I can’t be sure until I see him.  And this whole conversation started with seeing the dog and left me wondering if God wears clothes. 

As I think back on my childhood I am reminded of how blessed I was to have so many children in our neighborhood to play with.  Most of the children were boys and that didn’t stop me from playing.  I was usually the last one picked for the kickball games and I can’t count the number of times I was shot with a BB gun.  I still see some of my childhood friends when I visit my Mom’s house and the fond memories come rushing back.  All the games of hide and seek, catching fire flies and all the summer nights that we prayed the street light would stop working so that we wouldn’t be called inside.  As soon as we saw the light flicker we could count on Mom calling for us and there was a sense of sadness. 

Tonight as I watched Maddie play with the neighbor kids I wondered if we were making the right decision.  It’s clear to me that we need to move away from here.  I don’t feel safe and I am certain that this is not the place to raise children.  I question the decision to move to the country, away from everyone.  Will Maddie make friends?  How will I get to know the neighbors when they are so far away.  I am looking forward to the serenity and the privacy.  Will Maddie feel the same way?