Crazy For Her…

I created the graphics for the new site and I have a problem.  If there is anyone out there with WordPress knowledge – How do I get rid of the blog title in white.  It is part of the code and I cannot seem to find the place to change/delete the code.  Anyone?

Other than the white text and a few minor color changes that I need to make, I am very happy with the new look.  I will be changing it once a month if I have time because I like changing things up a little.  Any ideas or suggestions are welcome.  What do you think?  I am dying to know and I can handle it, good or bad. 

Good-night and have a pleasant tomorrow.

We have been crazy busy the last week.  The progress that we have made is slowly sinking in.  It appears that we are moving but we are only clearing out ten years of clutter and collections of very odd things.  We have moved several truck loads to storage and I haven’t missed any of the items, yet.  I am not sure how long it will take to sell the house and that is the crazy part.  We may be living in a half empty house for a year.  Or even scarier, the house may sell in a week and I will really be freaking out because I think I am ready to move and then I start freaking out again.  Can we afford it?  Will we find a house that we love as much as we loved this house in the beginning?

The day we found this house is a vivid memory for me.  I remember the previous owners, their furniture and the weird way they positioned their beds at an angle in the corners.  They were having an open house, it was a Saturday and we were driving around looking for garage sales.  We saw the Open House sign and decided to drive by.  As we parked in front of the house we looked at eachother and we knew.  We knew immediately that this was the house.  We told everyone that we would live in this house forever and now we are moving. 

Friends and family have asked me if I will miss the house.  I initially said no but as I am packing things away I am struck by random memories that have taken place here.  Chris and I lived here before we were married.  This is the home where we really got to know eachother.  We have taken pride in this home and we have taken care of it.  And up until a year ago, this house has taken care of us and our new baby.  This is where we brought Maddie home and I remember all the firsts in her life and they took place right here in this house.  Her first steps in the dining room, her first fall out of the bed upstairs, the first night I nursed her in the rocking chair upstairs. 

I will always have those good memories to take with me and I don’t want to store any bad memories by staying.  This is a good thing, the best thing for our family.  I just pray that we can sell the house at a fair price and find a place that we will never want to leave.  I want to find that place, I want to look at Chris and know that it is the one that we will grow old in.  I want Maddie to have a home that she will cherish as she gets older.  A home with fond memories of her childhood and hopefully a place she never wants to leave.

Our lives our changing, oh how things are changing.  My sweet little baby has turned into a sassy little girl with a thirteen year old attitude.  And she is so darn cute it is hard to maintain any level of authority.  The discipline quickly loses its effect when you bust out laughing in the middle of it all.  And I lose it quite often these days.

Let me give some recent examples of how easily Maddie takes my demeanor from “very serious or angry Mother” to “laughing/crying Momma”:

Last night she was in the living room doing the pee-pee dance and I told her she should go to the bathroom.  She swiftly shut me down with a very serious “NO!”.  I then told her that she better march her behind to the bathroom right now because there will be no accidents tonight, she is big enough to go to the potty on her own, blah. blah. blah.  The conversation turned into an argument and then I shot her the “don’t mess with me!” look.  She started towards the bathroom and then the emotions kicked in.  The fake crying and then talk about how I am a meanie Mom.  This is something that we go through everyday because how dare I ask her to do something as horrible as peeing on the potty when she is busy playing with her tea set.  So I listen to her whine all the way to the bathroom and then the door SLAMS (13 years old!).  She was in the bathroom for a while and I go to check on her.  When I get close to the door I hear her voice so I listen closely and what I heard made me cry.  Behind that door my little girl was singing/crying the song “I caught me a baby bumble bee.  Won’t my Mommy be so proud of me.”  I did not teach her this song, I had never heard her sing this song and the tears fell from my eyes.  I felt sad that she was crying while singing a wonderful happy song and I felt proud that she was singing something that she heard from someone else and sang it plainly with so much feeling.  It still amazes me how she touches my heart, tugs at my emotions and it’s a scary feeling to love someone so much. 

Today she had a potty accident at school and she told me about it as soon as I arrived.  She looked up at me, shrugged her shoulders and said “It happens.”  The teacher assured me that she was headed for the bathroom but didn’t quite make it.  I didn’t mention it again and took her to the bathroom as soon we got home.  She refused to use the bathroom and I was too tired to argue.  We headed outside and I noticed that the neighbors dog had brought us his daily gift of other peoples trash.  I was complaining outloud about the gift and Maddie asked “What’s wrong Mommie?” and I replied “I am just tired of picking up trash that doesn’t belong to us.  It’s disgusting and ridiculous!”.  Soon after that she wet her pants and I was irritated by this.  As I was changing her clothes I gave her the talk I always give her.  She is a big girl and she knows when she has to go to the bathroom.  She needs to tell me so that she doesn’t pee her pants and I won’t have to change her wet clothes.  The sassy little girl looked at me and said “It HAPPENS!  You make me mad.  It’s eeedickuless!”.  How in the world do you keep a straight face?  I can’t and I didn’t.  I laughed, I swooped her up, I kissed her and I am the most eeedickuless parent she could hope to have.

Moments like these confirm what I knew the moment I laid eyes on her.  She is my world, the reason I get up every morning and my heart will forever be in her control.  No matter how infuriating this parenting thing can be, she always finds a way to get me.  She is a wonderful child, so full of life.  It is hard not to smile no matter what the situation is.  She has so much expression in her face and such feeling in the words she speaks.  I see glimpses of the adult she will become and I am excited that everyday she is learning something new, saying new words and phrases.  And all the expressions changing make my heart feel as though it could explode.  Even the way she stands and walks, it’s different everyday.  I always thought the first year was the time I would enjoy most.  All the milestones; rolling over, crawling, walking and talking.  I have decided that everyday is the best and the most exciting time.  I look forward to tomorrow and wonder what she will do next.  It will surely make me laugh and that is definately something to look forward to.

But the scraping of the porch is complete so the pain is worth it!  I feel like I should throw some kind of “I don’t have to scrape anymore” party.  This is the biggest project that Chris and I have done in regards to our home.  It is still not finished but I feel like the hardest part is and we are one step closer to selling the house. 

Right now the porch is drying after Chris used the pressure washer on the siding, floor, railings and the steps.  I am hoping that it will be dry by morning.  We plan on painting tomorrow if the weather cooperates. 

After the porch is finished we will start cleaning out closets and rooms to prepare for a garage sale to rid ourselves of ten years of collecting junk.  I am also renting a storage unit to pack things that we don’t use on a daily basis.  Then I will hire a cleaning lady to make our house look presentable and the next step is hire a realtor.  It couldn’t happen soon enough and I am beginning to feel a little desperate about our situation.

I have written about our issues with the neighborhood before and I am working on a post that goes into more detail about the things we have experienced.  I never know what to expect when I am home.  On rare occasions the neighborhood is peaceful but more often than not it is the poster child for dysfunction.  I am concerned for my neighbors and their children.  I often wonder what paths these children will take to reach adulthood.  It doesn’t look good for most of them and that makes me sad.

I think we are doing the best thing for our family.  When I was a child our neighborhood was full of wonderful families and friends.  Everyone knew eachother and watched our for all the children.  I think it is important for Maddie to have that and we are not finding it in our current location.  Tonight while Chris was cleaning the porch, Maddie surprised me by saying “Mom, can we get a new home now?  I don’t like this one.”  I asked her what she didn’t like about it and she shrugged her shoulders and said “I want the new home with aminals.  I want a cat and a bunny and a horse.”  She understands a lot more than we give her credit for.  She has heard so many conversations concerning our fears and also our dream of having a home in the country.  She may not understand the reason we want to move, she just wants the animals.  I can’t wait to find our new home and we are definately getting a bunny!

What the heck was I thinking?  One day I walked out on the front porch and suddenly realized how badly the paint was peeling.  I started sweeping the porch, it was a warm spring day and when I had finished there was a pile of paint chips that had flaked off.  So I sprung into action by making a list of materials needed to paint the porch.  On the list was a paint scraper.  Yes, I decided to that all the old paint had to go.  It would not be good enough just to paint over the old.  Our porch deserved better and it would receive a complete makeover.  Crazy idea.  What I didn’t realize is that there were several layers and by several I mean approximately ten and once you start there is no going back.  I started and I want to go back and undo what I have done.  I cannot feel my fingers, my shoulders and knees are aching but there is no going back.  I must finish what I started and since it was my idea I can’t complain that I am the one doing all the work.  Chris occasionally comes out of the house to check the progress and he has scraped the majority of the paint from the railing but the porch floor is mine and mine alone.  Our porch is the full length of the house and after a six weeks into the project I still have a third of the porch floor to scrape.  I see the progress that I have made but I swear when I go out in the morning it seems as though a paint fairy has repainted half the porch and undone all the work I did the night before.  And the porch seems to be getting bigger.  It could be all the paint fumes entering my nasal cavitiy and a few brain cells have certainly been killed in the past weeks.  My goal is to finish the scraping this weekend and get the painting done before the hot humid weather comes and ruins the fresh paint.  I thought I would post some pictures to show just how thick the paint is and maybe someone will feel sorry for me, visit my house while I am out and finish the scraping for me.  A girl can dream, right?

The top of the photo is obviously the layers upon layers of paint that has accumulated over the years.  The bottom of the photo is all the hard work I have done to remove the years of paint.  Have you noticed how many times I have used the words hard work?  Did I mention it was hard and it was a lot of work?  Just checking.

Close-up photo of the the thick layers and the nice clean floor boards after they have been stripped.  There will be relief and a strong sense of accomplishment when the porch is finished.  I can’t wait to see the end result and I hope that the end with come very, very soon or I may lose the feeling in my fnger tips very soon.