Last week we discovered that we were not receiving phone calls. We could make all the calls we wanted but no one was calling us. I was starting to get my feelings hurt that no one wanted to call us when I called my friend who notified me that my phone is not working. Chris came home that evening and we both decided that it was kind of nice not to receive phone calls for one night. Except it was a little annoying that the phone would ring once…and then nothing. So what we thought was a good thing turned into “Oh my gosh, someone is calling us. Chris hold the phone and be quick, answer it quick”. So there was Chris, holding onto the phone like a racoon holding a shiny new quarter but he was never quick enough. It sounded something like this: Ring! “Damn, I didn’t get that one.” Ring! “Shit, I missed it again.” Ring! “Arghhhh. @#!$%@!”
I pried the shiny quarter from his little paw and decided that we must fix the phone. Chris is a master at anything as long as it has 4 wheels and I can troubleshoot a PC in my sleep. But we know nothing of the little wires that make the phone ring. Or at least, make the phone ring more than once. We were working on the phone with a screwdriver and a flashlight. Very scientific.
We finally decided that it must be on the outside of the house. Who decided that it must be on the outside of the house? That would be me but if you were to ask Chris, he fixed the phone. I say “Yeah, right!” I am the one that wiggled the wire just right and I am the one that answered it when it finally sprung to life with more than one ring. I fixed the phone.
So tonight after no Internet for a week, I decided to update this blog. I plugged in the phone line to those dangling wires because we were too damn lazy to put in one little screw. We were really wore out from the excitement of fixing something that we couldn’t be bothered by putting the jack cover back on with that one little screw.
I turned on the computer and waited for that lovely sound of the modem connecting. But instead I heard voices and it scared the hell out of me. I was like “Why is the modem talking to me and why does it sound like my husband? I should not be hearing voices. It’s ALIVE!” I got the message that the modem could not connect, blah, blah, blah. So I tried again and there was his voice again and this time he was saying something like “She doesn’t shwshwshw.” Damn, the modem disconnected. Must hear what husband is saying and who is SHE? Try connection again. “Yeah, I wouldn’t tolerate…shwshwshw.” Damn, why won’t this modem stay connected so I can enjoy eaves dropping on a conversation I am obviously supposed to hear. Connect again. “My damn phone, I don’t know what is going on… shwshwshw.” Great. Now he is on to me. I go upstairs and Chris is talking to his friend Terry and telling him that the phone is not working. I laugh and say “Who is she and what won’t you tolerate?” Chris says “She is my girlfriend who is taking a pregnancy test and won’t get the results back until tomorrow. And I won’t tolerate you listening to my phone conversation.” Ok, I made that last part up but if she is pregnant, I am so out of here.
